A Major Setback

It seems as if the high I was on just recently because of my new promotion is now a distant memory. I warn you, I am feeling sorry for myself.

Just as I entered ODOT last fall, I was diagnosed with Lymphoma for a second time in my life. I had some really intense and painful radiation that made life a living hell for several weeks. I still live with pain and scars months later. I ask myself: "Shouldn't I be done with this?" No, unfortunately that is not the case. It appears I might be in for battle #3 with the big C.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I felt pain in my left groin area. I thought I had pulled a muscle from the way it felt. I have been working out on a daily basis since April, and I figured it could be a high probability that this is what happened. However, after just two weeks my leg has swollen to an enormous size and the pain is intense. Not taking any chances, I visited the ER in Stayton, Oregon recently, only to receive advice to go back to Oregon Health and Science University -- not my first choice.

After having a CT at OHSU, just a day later I found my left lymph node was at an impressive size. My regular oncologist was out of town, so I could only rely on the advice of a nurse practioner, whom I believe was just telling me the bare-bone facts as she probably chose for my regular oncologist to make the call.

Friday might be the day where I found out my fate. The oncologist is back, and at that point I will most likely have a biopsy. In the meantime, what I can tell you is that I am in a lot of pain, feeling cruddy, and dealing with a really, really swollen left leg.

The silver lining on this entire ordeal is that I am once again reminded how privilaged I am to have people who love me. My parents and girlfriend have really stepped up to the plate for me. It makes me guilty to have to put them through this, although I do know it is out of my control. I wish this wasn't the case. Additionally, many of my coworkers from my previous position at ODOT have been sending their thoughts and prayers. It's a really good feeling when my girlfriend and friends whom have only known me for months already care so much.

Thank you mom, dad, and my friends for keeping me lifted up through yet another dark time in my life.

-LB