The Dependence

I write tonight in a totally different focus, one of positive thoughts and a hopeful future. This is something a week ago tonight, I could tell you was very different, in fact it was bleak.

Over the past six months I have been treated for pain as a result of my Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma which reappeared on my right foot last summer. Through radiation this past fall, a lot of healing, and a lot of rest, I can now tell you I am cancer free once again in my life. It should be normally be a time for celebration but it has actually been a time of depression. Recently, I went off the pain medication, because I no longer had pain... but what I didn't realize is... I had a dependence. It was like I had been day dreaming for the past six months and then woke up to a cold cruel reality -- or at least that is what I thought it was. However, it was not, it was a huge ugly depression which set in as my body was looking for the pain medication. I spent day after day sleeping, thinking the world was a terrible place -- in fact one thought of how life wasn't even worth living anymore. No, not taking my own life, but definitely found myself evaluating why I was even living. I knew this was because of the withdrawals, but no matter how many times I told myself it was because of that and only that, I felt like I was at rock bottom. Symptoms like sweating, trembling, and feeling cold were very common for me. After talking to my family, I knew I had to seek help, and that I did this past Tuesday where I met my new physician in Stayton, Oregon. Recommended to me by my friend Linda, this doc was incredibly thorough and caring about the situation and helped me develop a plan to rid myself of this awful dependence. It involves putting me back on a "trickle" of what I was on for the pain medication along with another prescription.

Also notably, I was kept "afloat" during my downtime by phone calls to my family and my local Salem friends.

I can tell you now here at the end of the week I am a new man, and oddly enough I am happier than I've been since before becoming ill with the cancer. I don't think I've felt this good for a couple of years. I feel renewed and very hopeful of my outlook.

One thing I've learned from all this, how powerful drugs can be, and how I don't want to be dependent on them. Here's to the happier and wonderful days ahead :-)

-LB

The Top Ten of 2007

Hello everyone,

It's that time again, or past that time (really). It's time for The Top Ten People of the Year. Just like I've told you over years past, this is unlike no regular list. This is a list of people I feel are deserving of some recognition, simply for who they are. They have impacted my life to the greatest extent during the year. I try to keep things mixed up year after year, and though possible, it is normally rare for the same exact people to be seen on the list every year.

This is the absolute latest I've ever waited to release the list. You know as the saying goes "life happens." That is exactly what has happened. After battling cancer yet again in my life this past fall, it has been a long time coming catching up on many of my day to day things, and truthfully, that is what I've been doing since the first of the year. The blog, and many of my other pastimes have had to take the backseat as I catch up on things like websites and my social life.

However, it's now time once again to honor the most important people in my life from the past year. I must say that just because a person isn't on my list, doesn't mean they aren't important to me, but chances are a person on this year's list made enough of a "splash" in my life to be worth recognizing, and shaping who I am, and who I'll becoming. So with out further, a-due, here is this year's TOP TEN PEOPLE!

#10 ~ ELIZABETH DEBOIE

Undoubtedly, a year ago I didn't even hardly know who Elizabeth DeBoie was -- except for the nice lady who more or managed our local grocery store in Joseph. Every time I went in there she was working hard.

My business, LB Productions was yet again going through growing pains, and we had recently lost an employee. This is when Elizabeth came forward and asked if I was looking for someone. I told her that I was, and ironically within a few weeks she had resigned from her post over at the store (for unrelated reasons), this is when I made the call. Shortly after coming to work for me I knew how valuable and hard working of an employee she was. She turned out to be one of the most loyal people I had ever had the pleasure of working for me.

Just months after Elizabeth came to work for my business, I was looking for a huge life change. Even as the news came down I was job hunting in the Willamette Valley, Elizabeth did not scare. She stayed working for me and told me as I recall "I'll keep working for you Levi, as long as you are here." The words were both surprising and relieving to hear.

Just a couple months later a job offer came in, and I was telling my employees the news. This is when I received another offer, an offer from Elizabeth herself, that she and her husband had a desire to purchase my business from me upon my departure. I was shocked.

Elizabeth is someone I have deep respect for. She stayed even as unsettling news came, and then decided to take the very risk on her own, to run a business that could both be profitable and a huge stress. She took on a lot, and it was something I was very up front to her about... but as she has now been at the helm for several months now, she has learned quickly, becoming a self-taught expert; like myself just over a decade ago. This made me proud of her and proud to know her.


#9 ~ KYLE HOOK

Kyle is an interesting guy, as he has a lot of "isms" that are kind of hard to figure out. This guy has been my friend for over 7 years now. Prior to that I wasn't a big fan of him, as I've told you before.

This year was a rather interesting one for Kyle and I. An underlying pressure was building on our friendship in the summer of 2007. It was not a good thing, and finally came to blows one summer evening after we got off from wakeboarding on the lake. It broke out into a huge argument and turned completely ugly. Without sharing any further personal details, it was involving a mutual friend and I didn't feel he treated this friend respectfully. But to this day, I realize that it wasn't necessarily my business.

Though I defend all of my friends, I realize that I can overstep my bounds sometimes. Kyle and I have since mended over this. This huge bump in our friendship has only strengthened it. Now we are as close as ever, even with me living across the state.

Kyle is a fun guy to be around. He says the funniest things. He's a major goofball. This is why I like him. Next time you see Kyle, ask him about the Sirius Satellite Radio telephone operator we had fun with :-)




#8 ~ MICHELE SAWIN

Michele has been my friend for nearly ten years now, but this is her first appearance on The Top Ten People list. I've been doing this list for ten years now, so it was about time.

Michele is a very sweet person. She will go out of her way to help out a fellow human being. I am eternally grateful for what she did for me this past fall. I recently had moved to Salem, and with the discovery of my cancer, I had to start radiation treatments. With the medication and treatments, I was in a deteriorating condition to be driving from Salem to Portland everyday for treatment. This is when Michele stepped in... and in a big way she did.

Michele was there for me when I needed someone the most. Her sister Virginia proved to be a big help as well along the way.

Even when days seemed grim, Michele was there to pick me up and take me to Portland. She kept me laughing when I needed a good laugh. She kept me smiling when I needed to be happy. She made a lot of my dark days much, much brighter. Thank you, Michele.


#7 ~ AMY KYLE-PERCY

My fellow cancer survivor, Amy Kyle-Percy has been an inspiration to me this past year. She was always a person I could call up to and complain about life. She always had a smiling face when I'd go see her on one of my many trips to the valley during my job hunt. In a way, I am thankful I did so much traveling this year, because I got to see people like her, more.

Amy has been an instrumental person in my life to lean on during my recent (and hopefully the last) battle with the big 'C.; She understands what the dark days are. In fact, she's had some dark days herself, and with encouragement, she has been able to pull ahead too.

Amy is total proof that this horrible disease can be beaten, and that life can go on. I am very happy to know her, she is a great lift to my attitude when I'm down.

I suggest we all look in our own lives to our "Amys" when things have us down. You don't have to look any further than this human being to have your spirit lifted.


#6 ~ THANE SHETLER

The middle child syndrome. Thane is a classic example of this. Looking for acceptance, looking for someone to pay attention to the things he does. Thane has made some mistakes in his life.

But guess what? He's proven everyone wrong and completely rebounded from being in a horrible situation. Yeah, the kid made mistakes, but he shouldn't have to pay the rest of his life, nor should he be labeled a "troubled kid." Truthfully, Thane is now one of the most grounded human beings that I know. He and I have bonded in the past year more deeper than ever. As Thane was telling me about being on drugs, he broke down. The guy felt terrible for the mistakes he had made. Then I broke down. I'll never forget that conversation. He and I knew we had each other as friends to get through no matter what.

He's come a long way... and now it looks like he's going an even longer way... physically that is. He's thinking of moving from Portland to New York. Such a notion is terrorizing to me as he is one of the few people I have around that is familiar to me since I've moved from Joseph to the Willamette Valley. But I will support him no matter what. I just want him to be happy and I know he'd want the same for me.

When I know the odds aren't good, all I have to do is look at my friend Thane to know that I can turn things around no matter how horrible of a hand life has dealt.

Additionally, if his inspiration isn't enough, Thane is incredibly hilarious and ALWAYS fun to be around. Even when he's in a bad mood, he's entertaining. Thane, thank you for letting me share your downfalls and your triumphant rebound. We all can learn from you.




#5 ~ ALYSE FISCHER

She actually gives a damn. She's as sweet as sugar too. In fact, she's too sweet sometimes. She's almost cares too much for fellow human beings. There aren't many people like Alyse around anymore. I personally learned of her undying passion to care about her family and friends when she started dating my best friend Sterling.

Since being a HUGE part of Sterling's life, she's become a very important part of my life. She's all about details. She will remember the things you care about -- even the small things. I recall the summer that she defended me, when someone was treating me terribly. She's also good at pointing out a person's flaws and positive aspects. When you're in her corner, you can expect to be showered with compliments and kindness.

One classic example is her making me a birthday cake every year, or giving me an easter basket. I mean who would care enough to do that? Alyse would.

Her dedication to those she loves is unsurpassed. Alyse, thank you for going the extra effort and lifting me up; and for goodness sakes, take some time for yourself!















#4 ~ CHRISTIAN AMBROSON

Christian has been my friend for over 7 years now, and my best friend for the last 3 years. He's been on my Top Ten People of the Year for the past three years. I can't say enough about this guy. He's the man!

Christian Ambroson is one of the most caring people I know. It is those types of qualities that I look for in a friend, and since almost day one, I knew we shared a lot in common. One thing in particular, he and I shared a lot of the same hobbies from early on as I didn't do a lot of the "small town things," and he was from Lake Oswego. Just as an example, it seemed all of my Joseph friends would go hunting, and I swear Christian and I were the only people in town who didn't hunt. It was things like that, a lot of little things like that.

In 2005, Christian and I lost a close mutual friend. In such a dark time, Christian and I grieved together, ironically further bonding us as friends. At the time Christian was in an exchange program in Austria during his second year of college. As you can imagine being thousands of miles away while losing such a close friend was not an easy thing to go through. But we got through it, together.

This year, we took a cross country road trip together. It was both exciting and completely boring at times. But you ever wonder what makes a good friendship? The fact that you can sit in a car with someone when you are completely bored off your ass! You start talking to yourself and saying weird things -- you instantly become more comfortable with the other person. And that I did with Mr. Ambroson.

Christian is truly one of a kind, and it is my absolute privilege to call him my best friend. He's one of few people on this earth I have no problem telling them that I love, as he says the same to me. We share a bond like brothers, we care about each other like family. Christian, I love you man; take care and see you on our next adventure!










#3 ~ JONATHAN STEPHENS

It seems a very fitting time to talk about this next person. Not since I met my best friend Christian Ambroson have a met someone so similar. He too, also from the Portland area. Jonathan Stephens has quickly become one of my best friends. I'd even venture to go out on a limb and say within the top five.

Frankly, I don't even know where to start. It's hard to wrap my mind around this guy. But what I can tell you is that I do really like this kid. He's got the best friend qualities written all over him. He's funny, caring, smart, honest, and just plain cool.

The 'J Dawg' and I met shortly after I started my new career at ODOT. It's quite funny, but the first day at work I saw him and had a feeling that I'd soon get to know him. My inkling was right on, Jonathan introduced himself to me a couple days later. Things quickly got stranger as we virtually started finishing each other sentences or thinking almost the same thoughts quite frequently. He's a GIS Technician for ODOT, and works just a couple cubicles away. Now entering my fourth month of working for ODOT, it seems like I've know Jonathan for almost two years -- simply because we see each other everyday almost all day. Then, if that isn't enough we often hang out in the evenings together.

Another great thing is that Jonathan introduced me to another really cool guy named Antoun Kehdi. He too is originally from Portland. We all can be found daily hanging out both by day and evening. We probably see each other more often than anything else.

Jonathan is perfect representation of my new life. I anticipated that it could take six months to a year before I made some good friends to even come close to the caliber of my Joseph friends. Jonathan and later Antoun proved that wrong.

Whether it be our geeky nerdy conversation about upcoming technology or one of our many observations about people who work in section of ODOT (which shall go nameless), the J Dawg and I are strikingly a lot a like... though I am a much fatter version. Haaah! Thanks buddy for being who you are and someone I can look forward to hanging out with each day. And who knew by pure fluke we'd have so much in common, but there are reasons for everything I suppose.

#2 ~ STERLING SHETLER

My best friend. No wait, Christian is my best friend. Uhh... wait a second, so is Sterling. Okay, I come clean -- I have two best friends. They are TIED as my BFF's.

Again, I've known Sterling as long as I've known Christian. For at least two years, Sterling has been my best friend. It's funny, because I call Jonathan "Sterling 2." The reason why, Jonathan is the Sterling equivalent to my original friend from Joseph.

Sterling is probably one of the most loyal, funny, cruel, and honest people I know. He's a real hard ass, but actually has a heart of gold, truthfully. He's Thane's brother (earlier on the list). They are nothing a like, not for a second. But they are both true individuals, and you like them the same for their unique personalities.

So you see, Sterling and I became close during the massive exodus of friends that left Joseph for college and other places. We both didn't really care for the Joseph bar scene, and were perfectly content just hanging out. That we share in common -- we both share the quality of being reclusive.

And by far, the largest admirable quality of Sterling is the fact that he doesn't care what others think. He conducts life the way he wants and doesn't let anyone influence him but himself. Though many times he's influenced my life -- that doesn't bother him. He can influence you, but don't even try to get him to be a certain way. It just isn't going to happen. That's why I love this guy.

Beyond my family, he's the person I miss the most from Joseph. I even tear up at this moment recalling our good times. But I know I won't be a stranger and neither will he just because we are in two different places.

Sterling isn't an overly emotional guy either, at least he's not going to let you know about it. But I found out that the guy truthfully does have feelings. I know he was pretty upset when he learned I was moving. He'd never come out and tell me, but his girlfriend did -- and it's moments like that which make me realize that even though he doesn't show it, the kid really considers me his best friend too. No matter where we're at Sterling, I hope we remain BFF.

AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU'VE BEEN WAITING FOR....










THIS YEAR'S NUMBER ONE










THE MOST INFLUENTIAL, MOST IMPACTING PERSON









THE #1 PERSON OF 2007.......

#1 ~ MELISSA NEWHOUSE

Two years ago I didn't even know who Melissa Newhouse was. But then, my life changed forever. I met her as she was dating one of my friends. Then, last summer she moved in for the summer and our bond was unbreakable ever since.

I can tell you right now, without a doubt, I wouldn't be living in Salem, Oregon if it wasn't for Melissa. She was absolutely instrumental in pushing me (literally) to make this move. It all started one warm July evening when I told her of my aspirations to move west. Her first reaction was "why do you want to do that?" When I told her I felt that I had been living in a rut for years, she could immediately relate it to her own life, and within days and weeks she was sending me the strongest encouragement I had ever seen. You see, I had been contemplating on moving for nearly 5 years, but for some reason as things got closer to an actual move, I always had an excuse to back out. Not this time, she was the one who finally pushed me over that edge.

She helped me realize that I was young, and this was the time to do something like this. We had many, many deep conversations and finally she came to almost threatening me if I didn't do what my heart was telling me. So it was set, I was to move to the Willamette Valley, and the job search became full blown over the period of several weeks in July and August, when one August afternoon I received a call from the woman who is now my supervisor that I had gotten a job, one of my top picks in fact, with the Oregon Department of Transportation.

Most of my job hunt was centered in the Portland area, and very few were south in Salem, but for some reason life brought me to Salem. As a result I wouldn't be here talking to you about people like Jonathan or Antoun. They wouldn't exist in my life. If it wasn't for Melissa I would still be living in Joseph, in my rut, probably forever. But this girl had enough pep and vinager (I think that's how the saying goes), to push me to the point to make a huge life change. One that was both scary and absolutely exciting.

But you know what else? Melissa was a great friend, an absolute gem to have around. Her and I hung out like old friends all summer long and I won't ever forget our good times. I recall our midnight trips to Wal Mart in La Grande. We would drive all night and have the best time talking and hitting that discount store at all hours. No it wasn't about the prices or shopping... it was about the experience! The bonding as friends. A bond that grew into a true friendship. Melissa, people even ask me to this day if I have regrets over making this desicion, and my response is "yeah, that I didn't do it sooner." I thank you for enriching my life and allowing me to get out of a completely toxic situation. You're the reason I now enjoy life... THANK YOU! I hope you now why you've been chosen as my TOP PERSON FOR 2007!