Life

Tomorrow is the big day where I find out when I start chemotherapy. I see my oncologist at OHSU on Wednesday afternoon. He should at very least give me a preliminary plan on what I'm up against as far as treatment goes. Fortunately, this go round it appears I will be getting a much "lighter" treatment then I did back in 1997-98. Essentially, we are managing the enlarged lymph nodes instead of trying to kill cancer dead in it's tracks. Such and approach would hospitalize me with intensive chemotherapy, almost causing more harm than good. I have the impression chemo is something I might have to undergo every few years just to keep my "crazy cells" under control. Nonetheless, this treatment is going to make me tired, keep me from going to work on a regular basis, and lower my white blood cell count.

I have already exuasted all of my vacation and sick leave with ODOT. This means any time I take off now will be unpaid, and I also run the risk of losing my benefits if I go below full time status. My last hope is putting in for 'hardship donations.' This is where generous fellow ODOT employees donate vacation time to those of us less fortunate. I am keeping my fingers crossed that this is something that will work out for me.

On one final note, I am a single guy once again. Things ultimatly did not work out for us. I am sure that the recent pressure of my illness didn't help matters. Regardless, it is better for us to move on at this point. I had a really good time while it lasted and as much of a bummer it is to breakup, it often is a part of life.

-LB